The Twilight Zone

I told a friend how interesting and well-cut the trailer for New Moon is. I never saw Twilight; I'm just not interested in High School Musical vampires.

The friend then whipped out a movie magazine, and pointed to a page about New Moon. There was a still featuring a bunch of shirtless guys in tight jeans standing in something like the middle of a forest.

"A bunch of Marky Marks, eh?" he laughed.

Ya, it was true. Then I decided to see Twilight, but I was too cheap to get the DVD. I ended up watching it on YouTube.

In Italian.

Without subtitles.

But then it was kind of fun, when the first thing Edward says to Bella is "Ciao!" If it had been in English, I would have felt like I was watching Let The High School Musical One In. But in Italian? It was like watching a weird remake of an American teen vampire movie directed by Federico Fellini. So, it was alright, I guess.

Now, as a hot-blooded straight male, how do you react to a movie sequel with shirtless hottie shape-shifters? Simple. You piss all over it any chance you get, just to reaffirm your manly-manliness. Say you want to stab your eyes out with a pen, or you want to puke your liver and lungs out at the lovey-dovey scenes. Nevermind that people might wonder why you went to see it in the first place, if you already knew you were going to hate it so much. Well, look, I pissed all over Transformers, but went out and bought the limited edition DVD.

Anyway, here's a YouTube video of a werewolf, caught by someone back in the 90s. Warning: it's not for the faint-hearted.